and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
