She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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