No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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