Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
