Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
