the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
