omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We're too hungover to prance.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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