I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
