hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
