We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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