Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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