Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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