who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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