the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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