If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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