I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
