It's Friday. Sex?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
