This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
