I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He shit in the fireplace
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