I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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