She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
