You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
