Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
