Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
