Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
