This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
