I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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