Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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