Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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