:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
