Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
