just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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