You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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