it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
