Porn is love you can see.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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