She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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