I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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