remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
