I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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