Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
