so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
