shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're a waste of cheezeits
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
