felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
