my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize