i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I intend to get homeless drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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