I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no you cant smoke seaweed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
