____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If that was your dad, he is hot
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
