hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My penis needs a shock collar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
