Swine flu. Run for my life!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
