my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
