fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
