Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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