my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
