either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
