im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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