Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
