the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
