just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
