he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
